New Year's resolutions for every SEC team
We can all get better.
I can, you can, people who didn’t read this column can. We can all improve in 2023.
Personally, I’m going to fully embrace becoming a first-time father. My New Year’s resolution is to focus on thinking more like a dad. That means being more proactive, become better at troubleshooting, always admit that my wife is right and maybe pick up a pair of New Balances.
My resolution isn’t uncommon, but it’s specific to me.
These resolutions are specific to each SEC team for 2023:
Alabama — Don’t worry about being No. 1 (in the preseason)
So here’s something. Alabama has never won the SEC West and a national title after starting as the preseason No. 1 team in America. The 2017 Alabama team is the only squad in America in the past 18 years to start off as a preseason AP No. 1 and win a national title, but that team of course didn’t even win its own division. Five of Nick Saban’s 6 national titles at Alabama came when his team didn’t start at No. 1. Hence, preseason No. 1 is overrated.
Arkansas — Never forget that it can always be worse
See “Morris, Chad.”
Auburn — Put your phone away after 8 p.m.
Take that however you want. Personally, I meant it for Hugh Freeze and his habit of sending unsolicited late-night DMs to a former student with an ongoing Title IX lawsuit against the university he coached at. Avoid that in 2023.
Florida — Embrace patience
Yes, there’s some patience needed for Billy Napier, though I agree that there should be frustration over his play-calling in Year 1. There’s also patience needed to not rush the development of true freshman Jaden Rashada. The Gators hired Napier not in hopes of turning things around overnight, but rather in hopes of beefing up the support staff, getting more talent in the doors and annually competing with Georgia. There could still be a long way to go at this time next year.
Georgia — Be present
Andy Bernard once said, “I wish there was a way to know you’re in the good old days before you left them.” These are those days, Georgia fans.
Kentucky — Don’t wish time away
I do it all the time. “I can’t wait until (fill in event I’m excited about).” With Kentucky fans, they shouldn’t wish the calendar would turn to September. I know it’s tempting with how bad John Calipari’s program looks, but September is a long way away. Maybe just take up a winter hobby instead of watching basketball. I hear scrapbooking can be a fun indoor activity.
LSU — Let people make their jokes
Every time Brian Kelly loses, the gloves come off. He’s an easy guy to make fun of. He’s also one of the winningest coaches of the 21st century and he just led LSU to an SEC West title in Year 1, so any jokes about his corny ways should probably just roll off LSU’s back.
Mizzou — Be more conservative with your money
I understood the Eli Drinkwitz extension if the buyout stayed the same. But it didn’t. Drinkwitz is now making $6 million annually with $250,000 annual raises through 2027, and he gets 75% of his remaining contract if fired without cause. In other words, he’d be owed nearly $20 million if he’s fired next year and he’d still be owed $15 million if he’s fired at the end of 2024. That’s a ton of money to commit to someone without a winning season through Year 3. Mizzou should avoid spending so recklessly in the new year.
MSU — Process your grief
Some real talk for a minute. Grief is real, and it comes in waves. For so many of those MSU players and coaches, Mike Leach was their guy. He recruited them, he coached them up and he was such a prominent fixture in their lives. MSU should embrace that. And if embracing that is by making the pirate a new alternative mascot with creative new helmet and jersey concepts, so be it.
Ole Miss — Don’t bet on every game
Did I say “every game?” Oops. I meant “don’t bet on every 4th down.”
South Carolina — Find some joy
Come on. That one was too easy.
Tennessee — Be nice on Twitter
Hey, a guy can dream, right? This one easily tops the list of “resolutions that’ll be dead 1 week into the new year.”
Texas A&M — Stop fixating on grudges
You cannot tell me that Jimbo Fisher doesn’t put significantly more emphasis on beating Alabama, which is fine if you’re 11-1 … not 5-7. The last 2 years are proof of that, and not just because he delivered the clap back of all clap backs at Nick Saban over the summer. The creative play-calling for Alabama games and the stagnant calls for others suggests that Jimbo Fisher has an Alabama problem. That’s unhealthy.
Vanderbilt — Start a new hobby. Specifically, use the transfer portal
I know, I know. It’s difficult to get guys who pass Vandy’s high academic standards. But you cannot tell me that selling a graduate degree from Vandy will fall on deaf ears for 100% of portal entries. Clark Lea needs to embrace the portal more than he ever has if he hopes to actually build on the late success of 2022.
“Personally, I meant it for Hugh Freeze and his habit of sending unsolicited late-night DMs to a former student with an ongoing Title IX lawsuit against the university he coached at.”
AU will be just fine.
Hey Ron, you know how it works in 21st Century America. You won’t be allowed to move on until you demonstrate you have moved on with your personal life AND… you “just win baby.”
Lane Kiffin is Exhibit A for what I’m talking about. To show you he’s changed some, he turned Auburn down because he has high hopes of replacing Saban at Alabama when the GOAT finally retires. Now, THAT is a big ego!!!
“he turned Auburn down ”
Got a link to back up that claim?
Just a sampling of what’s out there may be found just by googling the phrase, “Kiffin turns down Auburn.” I wish I could show the links here, but I got “moderated.”
M S N has a pretty good summary, with sources, that discusses why Kiffin turned Auburn down. It had to do with guaranteed stability. Ole Miss offered him more years of guaranteed income to stay and that sets the table for when Saban hangs them up at Alabama.
Not saying Alabama will hire Kiffin to replace Saban. Just saying that’s the job Kiffin is holding out for now.
Sure, because a reasonable expectation is most schools publicly post when they have been spurned.
Of course nobody has a link. But much like the ATM at aTm, there is enough discussion and smoke to know something was there, then wasn’t.
“I wish I could show the links here, but I got “moderated.””
That’s because you don’t have anything. Just speculation.
Go sell stupid somewhere else.
“Of course nobody has a link. ”
Then STFU about it.
“Just saying that’s the job Kiffin is holding out for now.”
Got a link for that? Oh right, YOU JUST MADE IT UP.
Curiosity, rationality and logic are not your strong suits, are they Ron?
Irrational, emotional outbursts are so much easier to accomplish and so liberating!
Let’s be perfectly clear about one thing. NOBODY that covets the Alabama football coaching job will EVER be hired away from Auburn. You can take that to the bank!
In math circles they call candidates for football HBC at Alabama and actual football HBCs at Auburn “mutually exclusive data sets.”
“Curiosity, rationality and logic are not your strong suits, are they Ron?”
The clown who claims that Kiffin turned down AU, yet has no proof, is making a bad attempt at mocking me…
Priceless.
“NOBODY that covets the Alabama football coaching job will EVER be hired away from Auburn. You can take that to the bank!”
Weird, I don’t recall ever saying that. Why are you retarded?
“In math circles they call candidates for football HBC at Alabama and actual football HBCs at Auburn “mutually exclusive data sets.””
Who replaced Bear Bryant?
$1000 says you have to Google it.
It was quite a parade of former Bryant alumni. It took Alabama a few decades to expand their pool of candidates beyond that particular resume requirement.
Only Stallings made a mark in all that time and he didn’t last.
“It took Alabama a few decades to expand their pool of candidates beyond that particular resume requirement.”
Hey look, you do have some brain cells! Congrats!
Aww, somebody got their little feelings hurt getting spurned at the altar.
It’s ok…I understand, but talking about your programs problems and feelings will make it better.
“Aww, somebody got their little feelings hurt getting spurned at the altar.”
You really suck at reading people, ma’am. I asked you for a proof/link of Kiffin turning AU down, and you go on and on about future Bama coaches.
GFY.
“but talking about your programs problems and feelings will make it better.”
Ah, you’re illiterate, too. Not surprising.
Again, GFY.
I’m pretty sure in math circles coaches at either AU or UA are never topics of conversation.
If “just fine” involves yet another spirited battle for sixth place in the SEC West, then you are likely correct. I’ve yet to figure out why Freeze is regarded as some sort of savior for a program that has been losing more ground every season for a decade now. Kiffin stayed at Ole Miss for many reasons, chief among those is that it is a better job.
I’ve been saying for weeks that MSU should legitimately change their school mascot to The Pirates.
1. It’s completely original to the SEC (Bulldogs is already taken) and for most of CFB. Is East Carolina the only Pirates?
2. It honors the man in a way he would probably be the most proud of if he were here to see it. Imagine him doing his riff on mascots fighting if he got to include a Pirate! The Pirate would always win because he had a pistol and a sword.
3. Pirates already goes great with the established colors. Your suited mascot could be called Maroon Beard!
That’s a great idea. That or “The Buccaneers.”
I like Pirates much better. Buccaneers sound so woosy!
MSU can refer themselves to Pirates the way Auburn refers themselves to War Eagles.
“Buccaneers sound so woosy!”
There are multiple teams with the Pirate mascot. There’s only one team with the Bucs as a mascot.
Why not “The black beards?” Oh right…ra cist or something.
” Auburn refers themselves to War Eagles.”
AU doesn’t refer themselves to “War Eagles.’ You’re 0-10 so far in the last two days.
In math circles they call that “a losing hand.”
You are one seriously angry and unimaginative soul Ron. I suppose being an Auburn fan will do that to anybody’s psyche.
I used the word “to” instead of “as” intentionally. MSU won’t give up being known “as” Bulldogs any more than Auburn will give up being known “as” Tigers, but that crowd on the plains does get pretty worked up every time the “war eagle” flies in their stadium. Why couldn’t the MSU crowd get equally worked whenever the “pirate” rides around their stadium?
I second the motion on the floor from Corch.
What is it my grandad always said about broken clocks? We are agreeing with Corch. Next thing you know, gwhite is going to make a sensible argument.
Please no! Thats like crossing the streams in Ghostbusters.
If mascots can be “taken” then Yale would have possession of the Bulldogs. Thats a silly argument.
TN resolution was funny.
I chuckled at it. It’s so true unfortunately…
Our Hobobilly friends in this site have led me to read Vol Nation as well. The entertainment value is way more than awesome.
Lol at Tennessee’s. I don’t mean that as an indictment of the entire fan base, and every fan base has their fair share of twitter trolls, but Tenneessee does always seem excessive and I don’t even have a twitter!
Vol Twitter is a real entity that can be used for good or ill. It’s caused great joy and great harm.
It’s a mythical beast that no one should cross or fell its wrath. But said beast can also sometimes harm itself
It’s awesome LOL
Patience is a virtue. Expecting to finish with a record above .500 in year one is NOT impatience. If not for a stupid play by Rising, we would not have even been bowl eligible.
Napier is clueless and in over his head. We’ll be fortunate to go 6-6 in the fall.
Spoken like a true member of Gator Nation!
Fire Stricklin and hire the new loser AD who can fire Napier and bring in the new loser HBC. That’ll fix all the damage done in the last decade.
Stricklin and his Starkville loser mentality does need to go, but Jeremy Foley needs to be banned from the building as well.
Here’s hoping Sasse has the guts to do both sooner than later.
Just reading the tea leaves in Hogtown, I’d say the odds of that happening in the next two years are somewhere between slim and none… and I just saw slim on a train headed out of town on New Year’s Day!
Too much is now invested in Napier’s vision to abandon it any sooner than that. Stricklin and Napier are joined at the hip on this.
LOL….The vocal portion of our fanbase (who forgets we stunk and had bad recruiting) will have us firing yet another coach in 3 years. This way we can compete with Miami on who has the most coaches!
fire______.com <—- This for all the coaches at UF who dare not compete for titles in year 1.
I never said to expect to contend for a title in year one. But sub-.500 football is pathetic, any way you try to spin it.
Okay, so we didn’t. MOST were not happy about it…we just understand who we are…you don’t.
Did you think we were good prior to his arrival? Did you think we had good recruiting the 2-3 years prior to his arrival? Do you think we had line of scrimmage depth this year? What about the QB room…was it good?
StLGator…In the realm of Florida football there is and will always be only one HBC & that’s Stephen Orr Spurrier.
AFan, you Tide fans should be able to relate, because in the realm of Alabama football, until Saban came along, the only HBC was the Bear. And it wasn’t even close.
You are right Phil. We should have expected Napier to go to a NY6 bowl his first 3 seasons and then leave the program in shambles by season 4 and be promptly fired.
Too bad he couldn’t deliver that his first year
I never expected that, and never said so. I do expect UF to finish above .500 in football, especially after Billy got everything he asked for support-wise.
Don’t sell our program short, I think it was your favorite coach, when he stepped off the plane, that said the expectation at Florida is to compete for championships and then something about a blind squirrel.
I agree with him, the thing is to be able to do that you have to build the program through competitive facilities, adequate staff and infrastructure and most importantly recruiting. What guys like you and ugatorlakelife fail to understand is that those things take time and cannot be accomplished in one season if you don’t have the pieces already in place. We didn’t have those pieces in place, ergo the sub .500 season
Your 247comp team talent rating was higher than Kirby’s his first year…excuses and free passes equals 12m buyouts in 3 years…MAC-Musky-Mullet say hey…
You know the depth of your knowledge about these things is very impressive. Of course I take your word as gospel regarding the comparisons of team talent ratings throughout the years. To be able to hold all that info, stats and trivia inside a small brain is a wonder of nature. And of course you remember all these bits of info, like some super computer thingy, because the alternative would be to waste time looking up all these pieces of meaningless info. But you don’t have to waste your precious time because you remember and retain it all. That’s why I will call on you every time I need some stat, with apologies to gwhite, or any other type of info. Very impressive indeed
Thank you palley. But must give credit where credit is due. I know you prefer to just throw noodles against the cabinets to see if the pasta is done but I find it is very hard to argue with numbers. Just for you:
24/7 is a wealth of knowledge all in a one top shop…simply click on the College Team Talent tab under the NCAA Football header, click on 2022, select Florida and presto…81 players averaging 89.43 per player, very nice. Just slightly behind first year coach’s 10-4 Kelly and 10-3 Lanning. Then go back and click the 2016 dropdown, select Georgia, and presto…Richt2.0s first team, I mean natty champion wining coach Smart’s first team 85 players averaging 89.03. I love math, don’t you? Hard to argue with math…but hey, at least CBN and CKS both share a common first year trait, we both got schooled by Vandy…so there’s hope for you
Why patience for billy ? He’s not a first year head coach even though he coaches like one.
Other teams use the portal and win so why not billy ? Seems to me it’s just excuse related from the University, the staff and the fans.
That single reason is why this Florida fan is down on this staff, it’s the stinking excuses.
Name ONE coach who has ever taken over as a head coach and the first two things he does are 1. Complains about his players 2. Writes a letter to the fans begging for patience.
Even Norvell at FSU didn’t do that, I can’t think of anyone who has come close to using excuses like that.
To me that screams incompetence, tells me you don’t know how to coach, you don’t know how to adjust, you don’t know how to use the portal.
You should take Phil out for dinner, complain about Napier all through the meal, then head off to a Motel 6 for a night of hugging each other while sharing your grief. That may be the trick to brighten up your life
You really are blowing up those NY resolutions, palley…is it valium time?
Hey dinner and a night of hugging is pretty PG, I coulda gone XXX but didn’t. Give me some credit
Excuse me if I expect UF to finish above .500 in football.
Napier is in over his head. Period.
Galake….from last year, my guy
“TALLAHASSEE, Fla. — Florida State head coach Mike Norvell said Monday that he’s “pissed off” about his team’s 0-4 start, but he preached patience from fans and vowed not to sacrifice his vision for the future.
Speaking to reporters, the second-year Florida State skipper went on a nearly five-minute tirade about the state of the program after he was asked to comment on his message to recruits.
Fake news Smitty!
LMAO!!!
Haha! It’s too easy bro.
Money bet all the fswho, “firenovell.com” guys are Silent Bobs these days. I mean, the gall of those guys to give a guy a 3rd year to fix a disaster.
Here’s another angle…now that Norvell has them seeing the summit, just watch those firenorvelldotcommers run his arse off if they don’t improve on that 10-3 season…and they won’t
What summit you talking about? Their best season in 3 or 4 years and they couldn’t win their division, couldn’t go to their conference championship game and their highlight was beating a 6 – 7 team
You wear that envy sweater really well, palley…they had 10 wins and their highlight win was beating the SEC Runner-ups, everyone beat that 6-7 team…but more to your point, I said (and I quote) Norv has them “seeing” the summit…I did not say from how far away. Nice try though, bro…another NY resolution out the window.
So Norv gave them all not binoculars but telescopes to look for that summit, now I get it
Actually, I heard he rented them some time on the new NASA James Webb Space Telescope. That FSU summit is pretty far away.
*See “Jeremy Pruitt @ Tennessee” from 2018
I seem to recall Pruitt got 3 years at Tennessee to show what he couldn’t do. Let’s see where Florida is at after next season, now that Napier has cleared the locker room out of entitled malcontents.
You would be correct StLGator, he did get 3 years. He also got a huge extension that made UT have to go on a witch hunt to get out of his contract. As a UT fan, that was terrible. Hopefully the Gators have seen our mistakes and takes notes cause I dont wish that on any team
A good HC surrounds himself with talented players and coaches. Drink has done a decent job at Mizzou, aside from his stubbornness to give up control of the offense. That should be the new years resolution, to hire an OC and let them install a new system.
Well, I didn’t scroll down and read the comments before posting one, but it appears we have the same resolution for Mizzou. It must be obvious to everyone but Drink… and O’Gara.
Tiger TD…When your AD gave Drink that raise from $4 million/yr. to $6 Million and an extension plus huge buyout; Drink’s record was
15 Wins-17 Losses. I guess your AD thought that Mizzou just couldn’t get a better head coach ? That’s a total losers mentality to reward a very mediocre coach with more $. Drink’s been there three(3) years…improvement=none.
I think extensions are for appearances only, to keep recruits from turning away due to uncertainty.
Drink could be a good coach, I still think he can win here. He just needs to get out of his own way, and he did by hiring an OC.
Recruiting is good. Defense is good. Offense has alot of potential.
A good head coach has at the very least a winning season in his first 3 years…..
He’s never had an OC, that’s not a bad record for any HC without an OC for 3 years.
It was hard in the beginning to be nice to the Brian Kelly Haters, but after this season I just laugh at them
Forget the money, Mizzou’s resolution should be to try new things, like a new OC and play caller. No need to spend more money, it’s already there for it.
Connor, since you are about to be a father, let this 71-year old father of 2 daughters and grandfather to 4 granddaughters share a few thoughts. Take care of yourself physically and emotionally for your family. The two go hand-in-hand and and we all overlook the emotional side. Make time for your child, whether it be t-ball or dance recitals; it will pay premiums in your child’s HS and college years. and as a VU alum, thanks for your resolution – many of us agree with you. And why we couldn’t find a grad program for Ray Davis (heading to UK) is beyond me.
The cell phone Auburn comment actually would also apply about armchair fans and boosters spreading despicable “rumors” about Harsin and his family on Facebook and Twitter. Embarrassing to say the least.
24 Gator Games remaining in the Billy Napier Era.
Saturday Down South: “Embrace patience. There could still be a long way to go at this time next year.”
Find 6 wins on UF’s schedule next season:
McNeese, Charlotte – two auto wins
UGA, @LSU, @Utah – three auto losses
That leaves UT, @UK, Vandy, @SC, Arkansas, @Mizzou, and FSU as ‘tossups’, and Napier would have to win four of them just to get to 6-6.
Billy Napier’s year three in Gainesville will be the year that we all know how his total-burndown-rebuild is progressing. I hope he is successful because the SEC East needs more than
just Georgia & Tennessee.
I’ll take up your challenge Phil.
We agree on the two auto wins.
We disagree on one auto loss, at Utah. UF beat them this season with Cam Rising going against that miserable bunch of quitters on defense. Next season, Utah won’t have Rising and the Gators won’t have any quitters on defense.
On the tossups, win all the games at the Swamp and beat Mizzou on the road. That is no tall order.
If my math is right, that’s 8 wins, not 6.
The Swamp Home Field Advantage has evaporated in the Napier Era. USF almost won here. Kentucky shut the Gators out in the 2nd Half here. LSU scored touchdowns on their first 6 possessions here.
Right now, some fans of Tennessee, Arkansas, and FSU are happily planning 2023 trips to The Swamp to see their team win.
Gator Nation would welcome the return of The Swamp Home Field Advantage. It would be a pleasant surprise.
Past performance does not guarantee future results.